黑皮耶 » 心情Mood

空白的七夕

hapi — Fri, 28 May 2010 01:46:03 +0000

空白的七夕
Filed under: 零碎心情Mood — admin @ 1:33 pm
不知不觉的老了，过去的事情一丁点都回忆不起来了，有时候两三天前的事情都会忘记，真的这么早衰吗？当我想要回忆起我经历过的每一个七夕，居然满脑子空白。真是虚度年华！有些时候想想，对于过去的时光，我们什么也无法挽留，能够留下的可能就是描绘当时心情的文字说明，记录当时情景的照片，还有带有一些印记的物件。什么是你能真正留住的呢？大概只有回忆吧。而我连回忆都彻底清除了，现在才明白自己的残忍。

于是我想在今天就记下这个空白而不空白的七夕，用文字，还有刚买来放家里的废纸篓（当然还有两罐啤酒和一盒牛奶）。世贸商城的鹊桥上，熙熙攘攘的男男女女，在水气里忽隐忽现，仿佛早已练得仙风道骨，实际上我们都是俗人。年年鹊桥有人会，岁岁断桥离人泪。一笑而过吧。

绿阳工坊里还是那些没什么新意的东西，七夕也推出了情人礼物，一看都是N没品的东西，可是却深得小女孩的喜欢。有时候想想，一切就是那么简单，玫瑰花，大布娃娃，红酒与蜡烛，这些都是道具。我也想买个道具送给自己–相框，把最后一张单人照摆在我的书桌上，可是没有合适的。

废纸篓里装着两灌啤酒，还有一瓶牛奶。我开了一罐啤酒，边走边喝。满大街的人，我都视而不见，仿佛在一个真空的世界，醉得踉魉跄跄，却还豪放大笑，这似乎真的是快意人生。喝完我把瓶子扔到半空，一脚抽射，打到电线杆上，又乒乒乓乓的在路上滚了一段，好爽！路人用奇怪的眼睛看着我，哈哈，过瘾！

回来上网，满世界都是哀号着寂寞的人。我寂寞吗？应该是吧。可是却似乎麻木了，改变意味着重新适应，这很刺激，刺激或许是另外的一种痛苦，算了吧。站在落地窗前看外面的高楼大厦，星星点点的灯光，我照例点上一枝烟，发呆，可是心情却怎么也静不下来。5年前住的那个地方，傍晚晚可以看到村庄的炊烟和一盏盏亮起来的灯光，照例在窗前抽烟，开着很大的音响。再夜一点就在超大的阳台上，面对下面平整得象毯子一样的稻田，公路上刷刷飞驰而过的货车，铁路上偶尔经过的晃荡晃荡的火车。好安静的一块宝地。可是现在我是如此的浮躁。

那就再抽枝烟吧，直到困意来袭，倒在床上不省人事，明天醒来又一个没意义的重复.

Nearly lost capacity to speak

hapi — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:18:31 +0000

Only a short snap after lunch,you came into my dream.it was in the same romantic city.in the dream i live in a hotel room and work there every day.i don’t know if i’m trying to do hard work to forget you or i have been always waiting you back to my life,but in the dream i’m always alone and have refused many girls.until some day i feel that you would be never be back,and there is some really nice girl and i would like to give a chance for each other.

The day after i said goodbye to the nice lady and i decided to retun to the hotel.what a coincidence,i just ran into you,it seemed that air was freezed too,as i nearly could not breathe.God,is that really you?you must be kidding,you know i was just starting to make new girl friend.why you don’t consider this and just drop her from the clouds and change my life?Same long back hair,with your luggage.You seemed to just arrive in this city.You looked into my eyes and said nothing.neither did i.after several seconds’ silence,i said come with me.and we back to the hotel.

we were together once again.nothing could explain this except destiny.i don’t know what would happen later in the dream,the annoying telephone ring awakened me.i lost one chance to to forsee my future.what would happen to you,to me,to us?i really want to know.

I think this dream was resulted from a map of Qing He Fang that i saw the day before yesterday,an ancient street in Hangzhou.i was a place i would never forget.The spring of Hangzhou looks so beautiful,light green grasses，willow trees along the lakeside look like a long hair lady,peach flower blooms,too.what if i were there in spring not winter,would there be a happy ending?

Time Flies,cold winter,spring,summer,now it’s autumn,and it would be winter again very soon.10 months and 11 days alreay,i don’t know when i can walk out from these memories.i feel i was deeply trapped inside.The only way is to wait.

戏说乾隆主题曲《问情》

hapi — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:07:29 +0000

小时候看过的电视剧歌曲今天又翻出来听了一次，貌似感慨还不少。
下面这个是原唱

翻唱

听翻唱这首，貌似能够体会到江南女子的温婉，细腻和柔情。薄如蝉翼的霓裳，乌黑的发髻，长发飘飞，端坐于湖边，手抚古筝，又或是于明月夜，立于桥上，箫声飞扬。又或是待字闺中，看黄鹂纷飞，闹嚣枝头，听流水落花，感时伤怀。江南女子的细腻，婉约，文雅，貌似都早已经消失于现代社会了。真的是莫大的悲哀。

当一个女人在众人面前毫不避讳谈论自己生孩子的情景时，当一个女人面不改色地和男性讲黄色笑话时，当一个女人在众人面前高声喊自己的丈夫老公老公时，当一个女人脱光了衣服站在老公以外的男人面前被他们照相，还搔首弄姿时。我会突然觉得好无趣。

看过一部日本鬼子的片子，有个太君有很高的职位，喜欢花姑娘。他的部下不解，中国女人有什么好，日本女人漂亮得多，还更懂风情。太君说：你不懂，中国女人个个是烈女。日本女人很容易就得到了。现在还有多少烈女？更别说有古代江南女子这等气质的女人了。呜呼哀哉。生错了时代。

我只想找一个可以陪我一直走完人生路的女人，要求很高，貌似其实也很低。只要2个人同心协力面对生活，再加点小情趣不让生活太过乏味就好了。呜呼，貌似这个都很难。随缘随缘！

1st July,a lonely day

hapi — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:52:57 +0000

sleepless,feel somewhat lonely.no cigarettes,no coffee,only green tea.standing in front of my window,i see lights on the tall buildings glittering in the dark and amazingly i see a star in the sky.it seems the star is as lonely as i am.”Toast to the moon and there would be 3 people including my shadow”,how romantic poem it is! i’d like to have some wine instead of tea.

A new day is coming…There is hope,like the sun would definitely break the darkness.cherish hope as your power to fight against all the enemies.

断章

hapi — Fri, 29 May 2009 21:52:19 +0000

没事手痒，随便写写。
一、

“好好哦”，你靠在我的肩膀，喃喃地对我说。是啊，这样的夜晚真的很美好。天上点点的星光，寂静的园子只听得到蟋蟀的吟唱，鲜花散发着沁人心脾的芬芳，而我们的小狗，在草地上奔跑。无须再多说什么，就这样静静地依偎，幸福已经充满彼此整个心房。

二、
相隔整个网络，其实就隔一堵墙。劈里啪啦的键盘声，屏幕上一行行跳跃的文字，相互会意的表情，原来我们也曾那么贴近过。推开门，你对我微笑。那一刻，我终于明白了，什么叫做笑魇如花。你好美，真的。

三、
我在机场等待你的到来。还有十几分钟，我就要见到你了，我有点小紧张，一圈圈踱步。没有地方买鲜花，那就献上我温暖的拥抱吧。人潮汹涌的地铁站，我拉着你，就像拉着一辈子的幸福。你要抓好我哦，别撒手。

四、
你站在陌生城市的街头，眼泪哗啦。对不起，我不是要把你丢弃。我只是，需要静一静。乖乖，快把眼泪擦干。我们一起去吃大餐，我还能给你买棒棒糖。

五、
窗户关不住，冷风嗖嗖的飘进来。更冷的，还有我的心。楼道里一有脚步声响起，我便满心欢喜的跑去开门，一次次期待，一次次伤心。天亮了。空荡荡的房间，满满的烟灰缸，一屋子的乌烟瘴气，镜子里憔悴的我。不是说好要回来的么。

六、
还是那片海，海浪依旧冲刷着沙滩，小孩子们在玩堆沙丘，大人们在旁边看着，满是幸福的微笑；男生牵着女生的手，踩着浪花漫步，一个浪花打过来，响起一阵银铃般的笑声；一个女生从我身边跑过，后面跟着一条屁颠屁颠的狗。只有我最寂寞。你和他，还好吗？

怀念住在第六晚咖啡楼上的时光

hapi — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 03:22:36 +0000

　　还是在大约7年前，朋友所在的公司拥有这个老别墅。我也有幸在里面小住了几月。第六晚咖啡旁边的门进去，爬一段狭而仄的楼梯就到了2楼了，3-4个房间，带了大大的露台。后面就是邮电宾馆，有同学在那上班。
　　
　　那时候经常听收音机：我不在家，就在咖啡馆；我不在咖啡馆，就在去咖啡馆的路上。每天晚上8-9点都有这样的一个女声，读点小资散文，放点忧伤音乐，别有滋味。如果到了午夜还睡不着，就有鸿益的晚安厦门陪伴。
　　
　　刚开始还不知道鸿益和第六晚咖啡有什么联系，直到有一天朋友对我说，你去看看楼下，鸿益来了。我说，是不是那个电台DJ，朋友说是的。我站在阳台往下望去，一个不高不帅但是却感觉让人很舒服的男人站在楼下柱子旁边，和周围一群人微笑着。
　　
　　那时候没事也到咖啡馆坐坐，一排的各式杂志，耳边响起舒缓的音乐，坐在门口的藤椅上，泡杯热茶翻阅杂志。微风吹进院子，一切那么舒服和惬意。到了晚上依旧坐那藤椅上，对面高楼里星星点点的灯光，院子里小虫的吟唱，洒在水泥路上昏黄的路灯，院子里植物稀疏的倒影，静谧而优美。
　　
　　已经N年没有经过那一带了，每天疲于奔命追名求利。不知道啥时候能再穿过中山公园，经过教育宾馆，看到自强路2号那个第六晚咖啡的小牌子，然后走进咖啡馆，和伙计打招呼：嘿，我又回来了。你们还好吗？

hey…what are you doing?

hapi — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:07:36 +0000

i went to the same hotel for buffet dinner tonight.sit a talble just next the one we took last time.i tasted the crabs,which is your favorite.i still had several cups of coconut juice,but i looked at the wheat tea for a long time cause it’s your favorite too.there was a waitress who looked like you so much.sigh…i was thinking of you all the time,what were you doing at that time?

i know i should take other people’ advice and stop thinking of you.i just need a little bit time.only time cures me.let it be.

i miss u ’cause i missed you.

hapi — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:16:58 +0000

it’s a difficult to stop myself from thinking of you.you are on my mind every day but i can not do anything to change the reality.God………if i can turn back time,i would wish we had never met with each other.It was a really disaster.i dont know if you feel better as you have new guy by your side.have you ever thought of me?I’m now replying emails for my customer and i wish there is a big project for me.then we may be able to meet again?DAMN………..How can i forget all of these?

Protected: 他来听我的演唱会

hapi — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 17:07:26 +0000

i miss u

hapi — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 11:12:12 +0000

i miss u every day.although i know we can not turn time back.i see you are smiling to me when i propose to you in front of all my friends.it’s such a surprise to you and you are very happy,so am i.i see we have a wonderful wedding with all my friends and customers invited.we have sweet honeymoon in many famous places worldwide.i see you’re busy in the kitchen,your cat and i are waiting for your food.i see you and i walking in the street,hand in hand,sunshine is so bright and warm,you and i are so gentle and happy.i also see you are on my chest and listenning to my whispers in the midnight.i even see you are running in the garden after our little kid,with flowers booming around.however,until a car rushed by my side,i found i was in the middle of street,alone.all these are illusions.i can not cry,but i feel so sad and lost.

i wanted to be the guy who would accompany you when you mentioned buying bridal gown in Huqiu.you know what i mean.i don’t know if you were testing me or you just wanted to go there in order to get more goods to sell.but i really wanted to be the one at that time.

When there is a plane flying by my apartment,i wish you were on the plane and come to me,or i wish i was on it and fly to you.You are not in Dalian anymore,i have nowhere to go.Harbin is a place full of sorrow for me.i guess i would not go Harbin in my life time.It’s my first time to taste Tiramisu,and it would be the last time.

i can not contact you any more.but i have still so many words to say to you.all what i hope is that,one day you come across my blog and read these articles and you know i miss u.